Behind These Hazel Eyes
by ForeverIndebted
Summary: One shot. This is yet another one of those songfics that describes how Bella feels after Edward left her. The song is "Behind These Hazel Eyes" by: Kelly Clarkson. Enjoy and review!


Behind These Hazel Eyes

Behind These Hazel Eyes

_Seems like just yesterday,  
You were a part of me,_

It seems so close to the time that you left me, but I really don't and effort to look at the date anymore. I never really did, anyway, but I make sure that I never have a calendar in my sight. I don't think I dare try to, either. It only makes me more depressed to know that it's been so long. I just know that it's been too long._  
I used to stand so tall,  
I used to be so strong,_

I was more confident with you by my side. I could walk through the halls-or fall, rather- without being as self-conscience as I used to be. There was still a part of me that was, but that would never change. We were attached at the hip, a package deal, every single day of our existence. You would make me feel safe, and you would make me feel different than I felt around anyone else. You were different, yourself. I just wish that the dream and memory of those thoughts that I have were still true…_  
Your arms around me tight,  
Everything, it felt so right,_

You were always the one to help me through everything that I was going through. You were the one to catch my tears that feel endlessly, the one to sew my heart back together. You were the only thing that made me feel better. Even Charlie and Renee couldn't help me in the way that you could. Renee and I are like sisters in more ways than one, but she could never give me sympathy. It always seemed like it was fake sympathy, and it was never true from my point of view. As for Charlie, I don't think that it would be in his nature to give me sympathy to it's fullest extent. It seems selfish to think about things that way, but it is the only truth that I hold onto, now._  
Unbreakable,_

_Like nothing could go wrong,_

I was untouchable. Not even Victoria could harm me with your securing embrace that was so closely hovering around me. I was almost accustomed to it, in a way. Everything seemed so perfect, and I would never have expected this. I wish that I had, and not have been such an optimist about this kind of thing. I should have known that you would have done it, sooner or later._  
Now I can't breathe,  
No, I can't sleep,  
I'm barely hanging on,_

Now, I feel like I am constantly underneath a pool of water that has been frozen over. I can't breathe, but I can't give up, either. I feel like I am drowning every day, and every day, the water is suffocating me more and more. I feel like, eventually, my lungs will get to bursting, and I will die a lonely death. The only reason that I even try to hold on, anymore, is for Charlie and Renee.

_  
Here I am, once again,  
I'm torn into pieces,_

If you want me, here I am. I never left you, and I never will. I can't. It's not in my nature. Even though I might be an unassembled patchwork quilt, you can patch me up in an instant and be the weaver that I need to piece me together, again. All I need is you to live, and all you need to do is come back. I need you so desperately, and I can't live without you any longer._  
Can't deny it, can't pretend,  
Just thought you were the one,_

I really thought that we could be. I thought that we could be forever, and we could be the end of time, and the beginning of a new one, again. We could be all of the existence, and we could be forever. I can't forget that this was what I wanted to be, and my heart keeps on searching for what I remember._  
Broken up, deep inside,  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry,  
Behind these hazel eyes,_

You are no longer here for me, anymore. My heart is never going to be better unless you come back to me. You will never get to catch my tears, anymore, and you will never get to be my comfort, and you will never be my sun, anymore. Don't you see?__

I told you everything,  
Opened up and let you in,

I shared all that I could about myself, and then you just went away and took all of my memories without caring how I felt about your disappearance. I let you in, and, for once, I thought that I could make something out of this relationship with you. But I was wrong…_  
You made me feel alright,  
For once in my life,_

You made me feel important to someone. I felt like I mattered to someone, and like I meant something to at least someone. But you were everyone. You made up my whole life, and that's why I am so lost, now. Because you were my only connection, and no one more. It made me this way: an unemotional stone._  
Now all that's left of me,  
Is what I pretend to be,_

Now I am just pieces, never to be put together until a gust of magic comes and brings me out of the coma that I am in. I am only pretending to be happy on the outside as school, but I don't think that that is working, and on the inside, it's only worse. It feels terrible to know that I am back to my state in Phoenix to everyone, and it is never changing._  
So together,_

_But so broken up inside,_

I never was perfect, but now I have confirmed that I will never be. I am forever in pieces, and the pieces are all scattered, following the trail that you have left behind so that they can eventually find you. Nothing will ever be the same, and I have nothing to cry about except for that you're gone. Gone…forever to be, and never to be the same, again. That is the only thing that is worth crying about, anymore._  
'Cause I can't breathe,  
No, I can't sleep,  
I'm barely hanging on,_

Here I am, once again,  
I'm torn into pieces,  
Can't deny it, can't pretend,  
Just thought you were the one,  
Broken up, deep inside,  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry,  
Behind these hazel eyes,

Swallow me then spit me out,  
For hating you, I blame myself,

It seemed like you used me, and them rejected me in the worst way possible. That is something that I can never forgive, and yet I still love the long-distance, never to be seen again you. It is hard to know if the feelings are mutual, even though I know that I am lying to myself._  
Seeing you it kills me now,  
No, I don't cry on the outside,  
Anymore..._

If I ever saw you again, the hole inside of me would have never been there, and left there would be the part of my heart that I lost when you left. Nothing would be left of the wound that I had before, and it would be fully healed. But my visions kill me because I know that they aren't real as much as I would like them to be. I try to never cry on the outside, even though I know that Charlie can hear me screaming in my sleep, and that everyone can see that I have become paler, and much skinnier. Like an anorexic. I think that's what I'm turning into.__

Here I am, once again,  
I'm torn into pieces,  
Can't deny it, can't pretend,  
Just thought you were the one,  
Broken up, deep inside,  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry,  
Behind these hazel eyes,

Here I am, once again,  
I'm torn into pieces,  
Can't deny it, can't pretend,  
Just thought you were the one,  
Broken up, deep inside,  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry,  
Behind these hazel eyes.

I wish that you were here to take all of this pain away from me, but you are the one causing it. If you were here, there would be no pain, and you would immediately melt the clouds of remorse that now surround me constantly. They are the ones that are suffocating me. I just can't bear this anymore. It is becoming a weight on my shoulder, and the weight is getting heavier every day. You will never be the one that I come to for my comfort ever again. Beneath these eyes of mine, there is nothing left.


End file.
